Baby Making
by Rolyn
Summary: Every parent dreads that horrible question that children can't help but wonder about and Hoagie doesn't exactly handle it the best way a father should. Hopefully his daughter will get an answer...or maybe not. 2/5 -rating just to be safe-


_This quickly popped into my mind while I was shoveling down Chinese and watching an episode of the Kids next Door locked away in my room, or as my mom likes to call it, "my hole". I think she thinks I'm hibernating or something because they even put a sign on my door that said "Knock in Spring"….I'm not a bear mom! Anyhoo let's get on with this, shall we?_

_I do NOT own KND (wish I did though…)_

_~Rolyn~_

* * *

_Baby Making_

* * *

"Daddy," The ten year old girl said carefully as she twiddled her thumbs nervously. Her father glanced at her and smiled, reassuring that it was alright to speak and she didn't have to look so anxious. She cracked a smile before she leaned back in her seat at the dinner table and cracked the question. "Where do babies come from?"

And Daddy, being the cool, calm and collected man he was proceeded to choke on his food as his wife paused to glanced at her daughter with a furrowed brow.

"Where'd you get a question like that Holly?" He questioned after he got over his coughing fit with the assistance of his wife patting on his back multiple times. The tan skinned girl shrugged as her smile turned rather bashful.

"Well today my…_club_ was…investigating-I mean curious as to how a baby comes about and everybody thought I knew because I usually have the answers." Holly said as she fiddled with the yellow tinted goggles that hung loosely around her neck.

Hoagie glanced at Abby who smiled knowingly in return when her daughter had mentioned the term "club". They always found it amusing when their daughter attempted to cover up the fact that she was part of the Kids Next Door thinking that they had no clue what it was. Although since neither of them had been decommissioned they had a pretty good idea of what the hazel-blue eyed girl was talking about.

You'd think a bunch of adults would have been decommissioned by now but, in secret it just might be possible that Hoagie and Abby still assisted the KND…but that's classified information for another day because right now little Holly was innocently looking between her parents expecting an answer to the dreaded question _'where do babies come from?'_

"Well Holly…" Hoagie began trying to choose his words carefully. The brown haired girl stared at him expectantly. "Babies fall into people's houses out of planes."

"What the…" Abby trailed off as she snatched the red hat off of her _daughters_ head and smacked him upside the head with it.

"Hey!" Holly screeched reaching for her hat.

"What was that for!?" Hoagie exclaimed shooting Abby a glare as Holly replaced her tattered red hat back on her head. Abby glared right back at him while shaking her head.

"You _know_ that's not where babies come from! Holly didn't drop out of a plane so don't lie straight to her face." Abby snapped wagging her finger at her husband. Hoagie rolled his eyes.

"Do _you_ want to explain it to her then?" He retorted. At that moment Abby's mouth snapped shut and her cheeks began to flush…which they haven't done in a while unless she and her husband were…yea that is classified information.

"What's the big deal?" Holly inserted perking a brow. "Is it bad or something?"

"No, not at all honey." Abby said placing a hand on her daughter's shoulder.

"Yea its actually good…_really _good…" Hoagie trailed off as he smirked at his wife. She gave him a look when Holly's face twisted with confusion.

"Then why won't you just answer my question?" She asked cocking her head to the side.

"Because…baby making is a complicated process that is difficult to explain and should be explained at the proper age." Abby said smartly with a firm nod.

"Like when you're a teenager." Hoagie added.

Holly huffed. "Teenagers are dumb! Holly wants to know now." Okay, now she was serious. Unlike Abby, Holly only spoke in third person when she was frustrated or intensely serious. "When did you guys figure out where babies came from?"

"I was…ten." Abby admitted ducking her head a bit.

"Nobody really explained it to me!" Hoagie said almost proudly.

"I did you fool…" Abby muttered shooting him a glare.

"And I was never the same." He shot back.

"Yea, ya'll turned into a pervert." She mumbled with a knowing crooked smile as she crossed her arms over her chest and leaned back in her seat.

"Did not! I was just going through some changes…" He snapped back childishly.

"Is that why you tried to rape Abby?"

"It's not rape when there's consent."

Holly stared between her parents, her brow knit together as she watched her parents argue over a matter that could have been easily answered and thrown off to the side so they could finish their dinner. They were throwing around terms that Holly had yet to come across and it was disturbing and mind boggling at the same time.

"Are you gonna tell me where babies come from or not?" Holly breathed crossing her arms over her chest.

"Abby was tired the whole day after that!" Abby continued ignoring Holly's interjection into the conversation. This frustrated the hat wearing girl more.

"You know you like it rough." Hoagie retorted smirking at her. Abby groaned and reached for her daughter's hat but Holly ducked out of the way just in time so instead Abby stuck to whipping him with her napkin.

"That is not the point, the point is you tend to get a little crazy!" Abby exclaimed.

"I've never heard you object!" Hoagie shot back. "Are you objecting now?"

"No…" Abby sighed in defeat.

"See! You do like it!"

"That's it!" Holly screeched jumping from her seat. Hoagie and Abby turned their attention on their daughter who was glowering at them. "I'm gonna go stay at the tree-house tonight and ask Jude or Nessie because maybe THEIR parents aren't nut-jobs…" Holly snapped before stomping her way out the dining room.

"Great…now she thinks Abby's a nut-job when it's obvious the only nut-job in this family is you." Abby sighed as she turned back to her husband.

"Yea, but look on the bright side…" He breathed standing to his feet and going up behind his wife to place his hands on her shoulders. "We have the house all to ourselves…"

Abby smirked cheekily. "You thinking what I'm thinking?"

"Cartoons?"

Abby took her napkin and whipped him in the face.

* * *

"So Numbuh 72, did you get anything out of your parents?" The sandy haired eleven year old boy named Jude, also known as Numbuh 75 asked. Holly shook her head as she rolled her eyes.

"Numbuh 72's parents started arguing…what did Uncle Wally and Aunt Kuki say, Numbuh 73?" Holly asked.

The blonde haired boy known as Kyo or Numbuh 73 shrugged as well. "My mom started giggling and my dad fainted."

"It was hilarious when I asked my parents!" Numbuh 76 or Natalie to her friends, giggled as she cupped her hands over her mouth and shook her head from side to side, whipping her curly ebony hair around.

"My parents basically told me I'm too young to understand." Numbuh 77, Jude's younger sister by one year, Taryn, explained.

"Parents are dumb…" Holly muttered.

"Yea…" Everyone chorused in agreement.

* * *

_All done…It was a funny little story with some crude humor in it that should be teenager friendly. My mind is pretty strange so I'll end up with some pretty strange things in the end. I hope you all enjoyed this little oneshot and if you are curious as to who Holly's friends are…_

_Jude (11): Jackie and Kellan's son (My OC's)  
Taryn (10): Jackie and Kellan's daughter  
Kyo (10): Wally and Kuki's daughter  
Natalie: Fanny and Patton's daughter  
_


End file.
